I did not stay very long Catholic, I could not two years but well filled.
At first it was a joy unspeakable, I was filled with grace and I could not enter a church without the tears flowing all I do only eyes for no reason other than Thanksgiving.
I then did an internship Gregorian to praise God, for me at the time, the best and most suitable songs. But not at Solesmes, with Iegor Reznikov, I can not remember how or why him. What I learned there was no single school with the goal of restoring the Gregorian in its authenticity but at least three schools with different approaches: Reznikov and Marcel Peres. Since I met other ... The Iegor concerns about the importance of his product (he also was teaching overtone singing), resonate with both the body and sacred architecture, the antiquity of the sacred chant local transmission of oral tradition, all this suited me perfectly and completed the job well done in Tomatis. I remember that the training took place near a river and it was wonderful for me as a renewal of baptism, each morning when in the middle of the cool water I recite the Our Father prior to attending the course. And all this was for me a great comfort and full of promise after my injury did not receive absolution. I loved
Romanesque architecture and I dragged my family in all regions of France where you could see all these wonders, and with a boldness mad I sing, in every temple of God, with full voice and with all my new faith all the songs I learned at my internship before the statues of the Lord, the Mother of God and the saints.
I took at the time the commuter train to work and I could hardly restrain myself from singing in the car my way to proclaim the Good News. I was content then to recite the rosary silently for the whole car that the Lord gives them to me as the grace of metanoia.
And then I read the scriptures every day and I got the inevitable Gregorian Missal The Roman Paroissien No. 800, it was not easy to find but then this book as books and pamphlets of the Fathers works of the great mystics who have enriched my library and my heart and my intellect were often sold off as "junk" by priests and convents in fairs or we found them with such clothing and vestments and other religious objects in flea markets or flea markets ... It made me sad and indignant that the religious think they should get rid of it all but at the same time I was glad to find these books to learn ... So I worked the edges of each major party, listening to phonograph recordings of Solesmes monks
... But that's what happened : grace has gradually withdrawn and I have seen with eyes of love what is happening in the ordinary parish where I had to go on Sunday ...
I have not seen that kind of dismal performances of bad participationists produced by amateurs in jeans and sneakers, with rudimentary equipment or defective, pathetic songs: nothing sacred, nothing pious, nothing that can take over of grace, nothing to drink and feed my soul ... with sermons that were more a political union speech or of the spiritual journey. Are still the same moralizing speeches in my childhood, except that they had changed the political sphere: the right wing rhetoric condemning without appeal the weak, it had risen left with the speeches of guilt about all social injustices as if a Christian was necessarily a privileged ... Still the same crash. I did not understand at all need to come together in God's name in what looked like architecturally to places of worship for the activism that was both inefficient (much better done elsewhere), and in addition always suspected of not be on the safe side (for those who had committed totally without reference to any religion), always in the position of one who must prove himself to be on the side of the just struggle of From offices in classes ... Gregorian point, at least near me, or else a systematic confusion with a political commitment that does not necessarily suit me ... even if my conversion made me reconsider my whole life remarkably in all areas and all my positions, so all my ideas about everything.
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