The long preceding reserve was made, I'll still build once again a story of my conversion since c ' is consistent with my initial draft of this blog tell how an ordinary lives his Orthodox faith.
We can say that everything is part of a denial. It is a version as possible.
I was living a personal life outside "fulfilling" - as the advocates today to propaganda - busy, creative, diverse, so with some success but not a financial professional pleasant relations in different settings, for some prestigious, with prospects so promising enough.
Inside, it was much worse: a couple's relationship was in crisis and most obviously they went wrong and I am working outside. As children they were of course often the brunt of this marital discord. Everything has nevertheless continued until the evening when, after a dispute over the couple, I had a kind of awareness that everything was going to rack and water in our family and I had to make a decision. I have taken: it was that of denial. It was a sudden and total renunciation. In everything that made that life was gratifying to my ego, "fulfilling" all my activities, all my relationships. Done.
I had no faith at the time, there was long as I had become a true atheist, that is to say a Godless literally, because a period of my life atheist, rationalist, materialist So activist, I finally "understood" that God was no longer my problem, because He existed or not, I do not worry about it more, I lived in the same way. I was then free of the problematic battery / Face that finally biting the tail. J 'were "liberated" the existence of God. I do not go elsewhere plus those who had done their militancy a pathetic reason for living. I had no score to settle from that side for a while.
So I abandoned but I had no prospects. If it had been measured while the electrical signals produced by my soul it would have received an "électropsychogramme" no high nor low, perfectly flat. I was dead to all desire ...
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